Your social anxiety and shyness are a direct result of your current thinking and the negative thought patterns that have plagued you and have forced you into believing what your subconscious is telling you, leading to panic attacks. The great news however, is that you have the power within you to change all that. Your subconscious is a virtual slave, it will do absolutely everything you tell it to do, both negative and positive, therefore you can choose what to tell your subconscious and it will simply obey.
I have yet more great news. Your social anxiety and extreme shyness are holding you back, however, the social skills you crave are just like any other skill set in that they can be learned. For example, think of any of the skills you currently possess, maybe driving a car or riding a bike, they had to be learnt right? Well, social skills are exactly the same. You just need the right form of education to master them and to eliminate those panic attacks.
Now please don’t get me wrong, I am not suggesting for one minute that it will be easy, you are not going to read a couple of pages of text and then go out and become the life and soul of the party overnight, it will take some hard work on your part, but with some commitment to learning and desire to change it will happen for you. The first exercise to master then is this:
Become aware of, and trust your inner voice.
Learning to develop an inner monologue is a vital tool when it comes to overcoming shyness and social anxiety, and will prove pivotal in helping to deal with your panic attacks. However, it will require some practice in order for it to be truly effective.
We will use the example of a typical social scenario. You see a member of the opposite sex that you find attractive and would like to speak too. However, your first thought is a negative one, maybe “she is out of my league” or “I’m not good enough”.
At this point what you need to do is this. Stop and take maybe 5-10 seconds to allow yourself to breathe. Really concentrate on your breathing pattern. You then need to acknowledge this negative thought pattern and reason with it. Use your inner voice to rationalise, and then challenge the logic in your thought process. Ask yourself, why exactly am I having this thought?
At this point you also need to ask yourself some pertinent questions, for example, what is the worst that could happen? Think of the worst case scenario. Or what am I actually afraid of? What you will find is that the fear is not quite as real as you may have first thought. Challenge your current belief system using this inner monologue, and if you find your inner voice difficult to hear at first then speak to yourself out loud! It may seem weird at first but you will soon see the benefits.
Then as soon as you recognise this as a negative thought you must CHOOSE to dismiss it from your subconscious, actually imagine it being thrown from your mind into a dustbin to be replaced by a positive one. For example, instead of thinking “I am not good enough” you replace it with “I am a great person who deserves respect” or something similar. These positive thought processes will help to control the feelings of panic.
You must actually visualise the entire process, try to see yourself picking up the negative thought and hurling it from your subconscious into the bin. Watch your positive thought replacing it and sinking deep into your mind. Remember your subconscious will do EXACTLY what you tell it to do, so choose to fill it with positive thoughts.
Now you need to commit 100% to using your inner voice to control your negative thought patterns. Every single time you recognise a negative thought, in whatever situation you may find yourself in, then stop, and follow the process through right to the end.
Of course it will be difficult at first and will definitely require some practice. However, try to bear this fact in mind. It takes just under a month for a daily ritual to become a habit that will last a lifetime and become second nature. After only 30 days you will barely recognise your inner voice at all and your subconscious will just take care of dealing with the negative garbage all by itself. That’s all it takes, 30 days, I know you can commit to that.
Want to find out more about therapy for panic attacks, then visit Jim Ryan’s site on how to choose the best panic attack therapy for your needs.