Emotional well being is very hard to put into words because on one level our emotions are bodily responses from our old animal brain via the unconscious nervous system and so can’t really be explained with the use of language, they are ‘feelings,’ emotions that over many thousands of years have evolved to move us away from perceived danger and towards perceived safety.
The important word here is ‘perceived’ – we no longer life in a world where we have to use our old animal instincts daily, yet they are still running in the background, unaware that the world we live in has moved from real danger like being eaten to perceived dangers such as will my boss like me, will my partner leave me etc.
Have you ever tried to change your emotions? It is possible. It seems that the body has to follow what we hold in mind. If think bad thoughts we get bad feelings and if we think good thoughts we get good feelings. So perhaps our emotions can be modified by changing how we think?
The natural progression is to begin to understand that we can change our emotions. By changing the stories we tell ourselves in our minds we can change our feelings. Even if we don’t believe the stories to be true this still works. As we realise we can do this emotions become less scary and we can even choose which emotion to have at any given instance.
It takes time to learn to do this, however it is really worthwhile.
As you take responsibility for your feelings and emotions it becomes time to let your guard down and allow yourself to become more vulnerable and most honest about yourself, because if emotions are no longer troublesome then guilt, shame, remorse etc. can all be let go of.
Stopping the voices in our mind
One way to look at a racing mind is lots of characters all talking to each other. A judge that is judging everybody including yourself and a victim that feels everyone is against them, lots more characters too all discussing your life, what you should and shouldn’t do or say.
Just because a voice in your mind says you can’t do something it doesn’t make it true. These voices in your mind are not one voice, they are a whole cast of characters that natter way talking to each other whilst they judge other people and judge you for what you say and what you do. You really don’t need to listen as they are the ramblings of your ego, not you.
It may be hard to stop them talking, however, it is possible to not believe them or to doubt them, to use them to uncover errors in your thinking.
Self awareness and out of date self beliefs
As you unravel old out of date beliefs and stop believing the voices in your mind, you’ll find that this is the beginning of emotional calmness. Couple this with letting go of your ego (hard but worthwhile) and you’ll be on a new path of personal growth.
When you hear yourself saying “I’ll never be able to” or “I never could do that” you need to stop and recognise that those words are from a younger you, not the you of today. Find the lies in those statements and begin to dissolve them.
Just because the past was a certain way it doesn’t mean the future will be that way too (unless you fail to grow). Look for the flaws in your arguements, listen for comments that hold you back, find those old beliefs and challlenge them, this is the road to change.
Sometimes we are too close to our feelings and emotions to be able to see this and break it down to reveal the myths beneath, that’s when a mentor or a therapist can help you to gently explore yourself in a more productive manner, so you can master your emotions and have calmness and choice at the very foundation of all your interactions with life, then confidence and self respect just naturally follow.
Want to find out more about Self Awareness, then visit John Glanvill’s site on personal growth and download the best Free Self Awareness Tools for your self help needs.