Marriage no longer has the same power as it had before – what was once a binding commitment is now easily dissolved with the power of a few lawyers and a few signatures. It really is unfortunate, as there are ways to save a marriage.
This commitment can be reinforced or in fact, brought back from the brink of divorce, if a few things are considered. The following are some suggestions of mine that you may find helpful if you are struggling to keep a healthy relationship.
You can’t just say you’ve changed, for example, and expect them to buy it, even if you really have changed. Change takes time. It’s not something that anyone expects to be something like a light switch – it’s more like a tree growing in the forest. Trust after infidelity, for example, can take a long time, if ever. If at all.
Whatever trust you gain back will, again, take a while – and since it needs to be said for the cheap seats, I’ll say it. During that time, she or he won’t trust you. Don’t complain. You screwed up and you have this coming. Not forever, of course, but it might take a while. It might not even work out in the end, but she or he is giving you a shot so you better treat it like the second chance no cheater deserves.
Try not to use emotional blackmail, either against you or as your weapon. Unfortunately, the Beatles got it wrong – love isn’t all you need. You need more, something to work with. Trust and respect are among the two most important foundations of a working marriage and a working relationship.
Remember, the point of an argument is to get to a consensus, not to be RIGHT. Being right isn’t what’s important here. You want to build your relationship, not become dominant. This isn’t about power. It’s about the two of you.
A healthy relationship can only be brought on by compromises from both parties. An argument can be healthy if it isn’t used to create power over the other. If you like to argue simply for the sake of arguing, you should think about the effects it could have on your significant other.
Time doesn’t heal all wounds, actions do. So if you want to see results, then you’re going to have to put in some serious effort. Marriage is never easy and will take maintenance throughout the years.
This author also regularly blogs on topics such as the curved shower curtain rod and walk in shower designs.