So, you’re doing the best you can to provide for your parent’s or loved one’s health, safety, and emotional needs. Somehow, they’re still not pleased and continually demand more. So why now are they making so many demands on your time and energy? How do you know if these demands reasonable or not? What should you to provide the best for your loved one and preserve the quality of your own life?
First, assure yourself that their basic needs are met. Consider their medical condition, their ability to get to where they need to go, their diet, medication, exercise, and spiritual needs. Do they have financial worries that could be troubling them? Are their living arrangements safe for their needs now? Do they require more assistance with daily living tasks than they feel comfortable with? If there basic needs are being met, then maybe you need to look a little deeper to determine what is going on.
Listen carefully to the requests and demands that your loved one is making Could there be something else that these demands are telling you? For example, are the telling you that they are lonely or bored? Maybe they need more physical and mental stimulation. If so, is there anything that you can do to help them find activities that will engage their body and minds, making life more meaningful for them? If they are living on their own and having difficulties with daily living tasks, maybe it’s time to consider an assisted living facility or a board and care home.
Making yourself available to address every complaint in short order is out of the question. Time won’t allow you to do this and it is unrealistic. Dedicating all of your time and energy to their demands will deplete your resources, and you won’t be able to help yourself or your parent. Finding resources, such as alternative living arrangements, for your parent, may better address their current needs and add value to their physical and emotional health.
Letting them know what kind of help is available and when they can count on it may be helpful. Many times, they can be patient if they know when you will be there to help them. If they are able to minimize the demands and complaints, be sure to tell them how much you appreciate their consideration. But most of all, give the same respect to yourself that you give to them. For the good of all, make certain that you don’t allow their demands to negatively impact your physical or emotional well-being.
Care facilities, such as assisted living facilities and board and care homes, offer many services that can make life more meaningful for the elderly. Having services such as meal preparation, laundry, housekeeping, medication administration as well as activities that provide for physical, emotional and spiritual needs can have a very positive impact on the quality of your loved one’s life. There will still be plenty of ways for you to be involved, but instead of being the only resource, you will be part of a team, all working toward a common purpose.
If you would like to learn more about the living options for an elderly parent, check out the many choices available in your area. There are many Assisted Living Facilities in Orange County that can meet your needs.