Many people are very afraid of being alone. They think about this, and they realize that most people at some point are alone for a period of time. This is the scariest thing that being alone is likely. They say that we come into this world by ourselves, and that we go out the same way. Unfortunately, the knowledge of being by our lonesome as older people is a scary thought to most of us.
There are many reasons why someone will spend time alone. Perhaps a spouse dies. Perhaps a child moves away, goes to college. A relationship breaks up, and one has no partner. These are all hard to live through, but we can come through all of these experiences as stronger people. The path to getting through them is to be satisfied alone. If you are ok being alone, you won’t fear it any longer.
This is easier said than done. It is hard to learn to appreciate activities for the activities themselves instead of relying on someone being there. When we depend on others for our enjoyment, we are not independent. We should not have to have someone with us to enjoy an activity or to think of the story of what we have done.
If you have a story to tell, but no one to tell it to, the story is useless and empty. Thinking this way is dangerous, and also isolating because people become desperate to have someone to share things with.
Sharing experiences and stories is enjoyable and important of course. But, that is not the important thing. The important thing is to enjoy what you are doing. You should be able to fully experience and enjoy your activities, all by yourself.
When you are able to enjoy things on your own, no one can take this away from you. You will always be able to remember this good time also. This is the key to true independence. You’ll find that you are happier and stronger as a result, regardless of your circumstances.
Basically, we need to learn to be comfortable with ourselves. This can be hard, and can seem morbid or depressing. It’s not a negative, however. If we can enjoy things ourselves, this doesn’t mean we can’t also share them.
If you can have fun on your own, then you are going to share activities with others because you want to and enjoy their company, not because you are afraid to be by yourself. This is a richer experience for you and the other person, anyhow.
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