I can hear you already murmuring, “So, how is this news? Point to somebody who wouldn’t willingly attempt to stop excessive sweating.” But when a person like me can’t stop sweaty armpits, there are any number of effects on our lives, and all manner of troubles we have to stand to avoid humiliation and pain.
So if you suffer like I do (or adore someone who does), I hope you will identify with some of the thoughts below.
Splurge more of that Old Navy gift card on board shorts (or whatever they’re shilling this season) and not on a seven weeks’ supply of replacement undershirts. Because sweating is death to undershirts. When you can’t stop excessive armpit sweating, your undershirts are exposed to unremitting moisture and the sleeves get a nasty caked-on layer of anti-perspirant and perspiration that is really uncomfortable. And you need to replace them constantly.
Start buying clothes because you like them and not just because they can hide the evidence of your overactive sweat glands. There are so many articles of clothing you just shouldn’t don until you figure out how to stop sweating so much before you even start your day. Unless you expect to wear a jacket all the time, you need to be very careful which colours you pick every morning. If you are style challenged like I am, this becomes even more onerous and pretty soon all your clothes look alike.
Avoid boring your friends talking about how much you prize hygiene just to fend off the accusations the next time someone gets a sniff of malodor and might assume you’re the origin. Because they will assume you are smelly anyway. And where there’s sweat, there’s stench. Shoot.
Stop doing some kind of chicken pose every five minutes. If you can’t stop sweaty armpits like me, you are always brushing your hand up there – to make sure you know how moist things are getting.
The message is clear. Life is HARD when you sweat as much as we sad sacks with this excessive underarm sweating predicament. I know there are worse things in life, but it doesn’t help when your problem is sensed as a character fault, or your friends are grossed out. Whatever.
Want to find out more about overactive sweat glands, then read more from Jerry Peachey on how to stop sweating so much.