How stress impacts you is definitely different from how stress impacts me. What makes impacts of stress differ across individuals? How stress affects someone depends on which events that person notices and how that person interprets the events. As a result, one stress-related event for me may/may not be a stress-related event for another person.
In the circumstance that Bob and Frank get fired from work,
Now, look at the different ways that they react:
Bob: “How could this have happened to me!! I’m useless and will never amount to anything! I know that I will never find a job again!”
Frank: “Ah well, it is what it is. Until I find a new job, I will dedicate my time to my family; I can even help little Suzy with her projects at school! It will be a great opportunity to bond!”
You get my point, right? Of course getting laid off is no pleasant experience, but the reaction of each experience that someone undergoes depends on the person. In this way, Stress is in the Eye of the Beholder.
Why does it matter that stress impacts people differently? Well the mere fact that it is subjective not objective! This means that you have the power to change it and it begins within you. Many people have the perception that stress is an “all or nothing” phenomenon and they think that no matter what they do, they will always feel stressed. Well this isn’t true, the journey of stress relief begins with changing your perception of the world; specifically your perception of your environment and your interactions. The old saying “the glass isn’t half empty; it’s half full” goes a long way and although it might sound cliche, that type of mentality really does pay off in the long run and it is what will get you through each hard day you may face. If we actively pick out the best of every stressful situation that happens in our lives on a daily basis, in time we train our brain to automatically think of events in such a manner. Remember the old saying, “everything happens for a reason?”, well believe that it does. Think back on every stressful event that happened in your life and how something positive came shortly after, and you sat and thought to yourself “ah, am I glad that the previous stressful event happened, so this great thing can happen to me now”.
When I was a child my mom told me to look in the mirror every day when I wake up and tell myself 10 things that I love most about myself. When I did this, every day for a month, I got the most confidence that I ever had in my entire life!! By verbalizing the things we love about ourselves, our mind actively becomes aware of all the things which we have accomplished. Stop trying to be perfect, whatever perfect is in your eyes because you will forget the many accomplishments you have had and how great you are. Don’t ever give up, whatever goal you may have, know that you can always accomplish it through hard work and dedication. Regardless however, even if it takes you a long time to accomplish your goal and sometimes too many things inhibit us from achieving those goals, events which are way beyond our control, but always be happy for the person that you have become through your journey and the things which you learned along the way…none of which would have been possible had you not followed your path.
I will wrap this up by saying to you, always learn about your environment – learn what makes you upset, what brings you joy…ALWAYS avoid uncomfortable situations and ALWAYS surround yourself with people who love you. Do not take life for granted because life is too short; always Live, Love and Laugh.
Learn more about managing stress. Stop by Franco Ieraci’s site where you can find out all about conquering stress and what it can do for you.