So I was talking to a nice-guy the other day, and he wanted to know more about how shyness is part of the nice-guy phenomenon.
He couldn’t quite figure out if confidence really is that important to women. Are nice guys failing with women because they’re nice, or because they’re shy? Is it a lack of confidence that makes nice guys fail with women!
My answer to him? Yes of course! A very firm and solid yes!
In my mind, confidence and shyness are so important, that I think most of hook ups, relationships and dates that are missed – are so because of shyness. Mostly shyness in nice-guys. There are a few reasons really.
1) Women don’t realize you can be shy too…
The guys online who claim that women hate shy guys completely misinterpret things. Its not that women hate shy guys… Its that women don’t even know guys can be shy or have issues or fear.
When you are shy, you actually end up acting in ways she misinterprets as being arrogant, jerk-like and cold. She literally doesn’t know its possible for a man to be shy around her. She’s too busy worrying about her own insecurities. So when you don’t ask her out due to shyness, she blames herself, never even assuming you might be shy.
2) Shyness prevents the natural mating ritual of the human species
Whether you like it or not, humans are still animals. Just like other animals we have a mating dance. Its a set of courtship rituals and rules and principles. They different from culture to culture, but there are some universal principles.
Women don’t hate shy guys or nice guys, they hate when the ritual or romantic process is ruined by what seems to them like weird behavior. One of these weird behaviors is not displaying interest or escalating the process forward (what women expect men to do).
Women actually get offended when a man doesn’t display interest, or does it the wrong way. She sees it as the guy being a jerk. She doesn’t know its insecurity or shyness.
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