In the initial years of our lives, our idea of ourselves evolves from the symbiotic unification of the mother and baby. With time, we realize that we are different from our parents. First we realize that we have a detached physicality, and finally we construct an identity, originally formed on the responses given by our parents.
As we age with time, we gain a separate persona by carry out developmental duties, and become conscious of the fact that we cannot be amalgamated with another human being. We may associate with other people and search for proximity with them, but it will always be from a different angle of advantageous detachment.
No one can straightforwardly understand another person’s reality. If we want another person to know us, we should be in touch with him. This can be both hard and irritating as we want our partners to understand us the way we want to be understood and to corroborate to our thoughts and ideas by agreeing with us.
The fact is that everyone has their own views and knowledge about life and everyone lives in their own real world, which is unlike ours. However, closeness is the one step to clearly grasp and admit differences.
It is the formula of trying to get familiar with another person and getting familiarized by him that involves the acknowledging of proximity, but since this formula consists of exasperation and disputes, those who accept these complications accomplish proximity in their relationship.
It is highly important that if we want to attach ourselves with another person then we should first attach ourselves to our ‘self’, because in order to accept another person’s difference, we should first come to terms with our own difference, or else we will search for combination, and not attachment.
Building up your self-esteem is highly essential to get attain greater levels of closeness. Building self-esteem suggests that you should find yourself good enough even if the world does not tell you that.
We should not be dependent on others to tell us how significant we are and satisfy us because appreciation from people around us is not proximity. Actual proximity is when two divided people come together to acknowledge one another and accept each other’s faults and errors.
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